onyxkiwi
10:27 p.m. - 2004-08-07
Username and title: Onyxkiwi- THE ROCKIN* FRUIT-At first I hated your username. But the when I read you why the username page, I loved it to bits! The title on the other hand I still hate. I think it’s the capitalization. (5/10)
First Impression: None really. Nothing knocked my socks off to start with.. (0/30)
Template: I love this template. I think it was one on one of my underused diaries. The colours compliment each other so well, and it is just a pretty layout in general. The links get a little lost at the bottom, which is annoying. Usually a template will have a title or banner or something linking in with the image, but as you have most likely changed the title, the picture; however lovely it is, has no relevance whatsoever. Otherwise, everything fine. (25/30)
Content: “But we never give a second thought to the sunflowers or the weeds or the stones left behind.” This has to be my favourite quote. I don’t know what made you think about all this, but it made a lovely entry. You have many beautiful and reflective entries, but they are crowded with daylog at times. One of my rules is that if you want to be reflective and daylog, keep them to 2 separate entries. Otherwise the thoughts and reflection can get lost. You, as a writer, are quite good. The word pretty springs to mind a lot, because it is pretty.
I am skipping through random entries and I have come across your letter to your Dad. I appreciate that I don’t really know the complete deal with you and your Dad, but I know that I had the exact same relationship with my Dad when I was your age, up until I was about late 15. We used to argue, scream at each other and I used to cry too. He hit me a few times, but to me it really wasn’t a big deal because that is how life goes. Sometimes we need some discipline, and other times it is uncalled for. We are not the ones to make the decisions because we will always see ourselves as the victims. I used to think I hated him, that I wouldn’t care if he died, and that he treated my younger siblings completely different to me. Now, looking back, even though I am only 17, I can see that it was much to do with my age. My Dad has Brain Cancer at 49 and only has around 6-12 months to live. If I knew this when I was in your position I would have done anything to not fight with him. Even accept that he was ’right’. I thought I hated him so much, and would have written the exact same letter to him. Now I want to hold him and never let go. It’s strange how things can 180 like that. Anyway this is totally irrelevant to this section, but I feel compelled to try and put my thoughts across.
OK, aside from that. Spelling and punctuation appear fine.
(50/60)
Stalkability: Email and Notes. You definitely need another kind, like tagboard or Guestbook for any non-diarylanders. It is essential. (2/10)
Lasting Impression: Please take note of what I said before. I like your diary, even if it is fairly new. Everyone has to start somewhere, and yours is a very good one as far as I can see. (10/10)
Extras: Many. Not many at all. A few surveys, explanations and entry-extras. Look into diaryrings, quizzes, and maybe %%diary-p-o-y%%. (3/5)
Will I come back? I wouldn’t steer clear or anything, but I wouldn’t be a regular. (3/5)
Do you have the Dudette factor? (Ungraded): So far so good.
Total- 98/150
Not quite a 100, but re-reviews can be done in 30 days, so see how it goes.
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